It's not that fun going to work these days.

I have no idea what I'm even doing at work.

Yesterday I was introduced to a new hire and had to explain everything to him and show him how to do things. It was only his first day but my manager wanted him as the cashier. I honestly think that's fucking insane because he doesn't have the menu memorized yet and that's like throwing him into a shark tank. Customers ask us a lot of questions, and that's too much for someone working their FIRST day to handle. Today I printed out this employee guide I've been working on and gave it to him. It's 5 pages of our brand history, my ideals for each job role at the store, a briefing on the menu and how they differ and their ingredients, and suggestions of things to do when it's slow. Really, it's stuff I don't want to keep telling him everyday and stuff that's too much for me to explain. I'm not a talkative person and Thursday was tiring for me, having to teach him EVERYTHING. He left it at the cashier spot and my coworker read through it, thinking the top manager had wrote it. He asked me if the manager knew, and I felt embarrassed because I didn't tell or ask. I do a lot of things without permission, and only get away with it because no one checks up on me. Even if I do my tasks well, I am absolutely a shitty employee in this aspect. One of the things that got his attention was something I wrote about a nut contaminated ingredient: our wafer sticks. Recently people had been asking for no nuts in their M12 and it lead me to check if the wafers were nut-free. My other coworker asked me, "and you couldn't bother to tell us?" I felt like I was punched in the stomach. Then I replied back that it was a very small percentage and I didn't think anything would happen. He said it could still trigger a reaction.

I've been doing and saying a lot of stupid shit lately.

I used to rag on this guy for telling customers our macarons were $0.25 higher than they were bc he was including tax (but everywhere charges tax, hello) and here he is correcting me on my ignorance and insensitivity to allergies. Something that matters more than my nitpicking of little details.

Of course that could happen. Of fucking course.

I don't have any confidence that I'm doing anything right. The 10% pay increase doesn't feel worth the burden I feel and everything that could possibly go wrong.

I wanted to tear my hair out because of the new employee. I feel like he keeps asking me questions that I already covered yesterday, and he's just a mess. I don't want him to serve as cashier at all, because he speaks too blunt, has 0 customer service skills and that affects our cash tips. We had a lot of customers tonight and 1 fucking dollar bill and some change at the end of the night. That's not even 1% of the sales/revenue we made. I can't work as cashier because I have to have an entire view of the outside area and delegate tasks and help the new kid. This is terrible. I'm still trying to find my groove. It's hard assigning him anything to do because I find myself and the two other workers already doing it or have already finished it. I pretty much did most of the work he should've done. Right now I'm considering making him write a checklist on his hand so he'll stop asking me what he should do. Obviously that packet isn't enough, if he's just using it when he's the cashier because I wrote a FAQ section.